Bike and Brew: Niantic Public House and Brewery

Let's start by saying this wasn't the most aggravating Bike and Brew I've done because of the Niantic Public House and Brewery, which was a charming place with tasty beer. It was just the most aggravating Bike and Brew I've done so far, and this brewery just happened to be the one I was visiting at the time.

I previously sent a bit of criticism the way of the Niantic Public House and Brewery, expressing dismay that they were closed on Sundays. This meant that I wasn't able to pair a visit there with my ride to the Noble Jay Brewing Company, but it also seemed like shutting down for half the weekend wasn't the best business model. I mean, plenty of breweries aren't open except on the weekends.

The brewery has updated its hours since that initial ride, and now welcomes visitors from 1 p.m. to 7 p.m. So I opted to enjoy a nice ride on a sunny Sunday and check them out.

The initial plan was for a rendezvous similar to what we did at Noble Jay. I would head out via bike, my wife would meet me at the brewery with our daughter, and we would enjoy a day out before we separately headed home.

The first part of this plan went well. Instead of retracing the same route I took to Niantic last time, I followed Route 1 to the Niantic River. This route is fairly bike friendly with minimal attractions along the way, although there's a farm stand if you're in need of some fresh fruits or vegetables.

Niantic River Road offers a straight shot south with beautiful views of the river as it flows into Long Island Sound. There's also a small public put-in, Kiddie Beach, which wasn't looking too photogenic on my visit but is a good place to launch a canoe or kayak.

My previous ride to Niantic was on a slate gray day that didn't really showcase how beautiful this shoreline community is. I think this shot, taken from the bridge over the river on a warm sunny summer day, does a better job.

Downtown Niantic is a bucolic little streetscape with a bunch of restaurants, antique stores, an independent cinema, and other attractions. It's also one of the few places where people actually stop for pedestrians, since enough people are strolling around that people know to watch out for folks on the sidewalk.

Just about every time I ride into Niantic, I make a stop at the Book Barn. This is a fantastic used bookstore, with its main collection in the titular barn but many more volumes housed in other outbuildings throughout the property. The store claims to have some 350,000 books available, at the main site and a few other satellite locations in town.

It would be easy to spend a whole day here. The grounds are beautifully landscaped, with Adirondack chairs and other seating areas to sit down with a newly purchased book. They have games and places for kids to play. Best of all, they provide coffee and have a family of friendly cats roaming the grounds.

Unfortunately, this beloved site is also where the outing started to go a bit sour.

That would once again be a flat tire. I had a good year or two of riding in southeastern Connecticut, and now the back tire seems to go out every other ride. I suppose it could be a pinch flat or some such thing, but I'm starting to suspect that the sides of the street are just covered in a fine coating of ground-up glass.

No problem, I thought, I'll just patch it and use my portable pump to refill the tube. Except my patch kit was empty and I'd accidentally left the pump in another bag. The folks at the Book Barn suggested that I walk my bike over to Hole-in-the-Wall Beach, since there was a newly installed bike repair station there.

It was a fairly brief walk downtown, and I eventually saw the sign for the repair station. At about the same time, my wife texted to let me know that she wasn't going to make the rendezvous; our daughter was having a meltdown and refusing to get into the car. So much for Plan B of stuffing the bike in the back of her car and catching a ride.

The beach is certainly a nice destination for bicyclists. There's a small stretch of white sand on a cove, separated from another beach by a hilly park with bluffs offering beautiful views over the water. There's also a lengthy boardwalk running along the railroad tracks.

The bike repair station was located just off the parking lot for Hole-in-the-Wall Beach. Armed with a newly purchased patch kit, I got to work. The station only had one tire lever, but a wrench proved a suitable substitute. With the tube out, I planned to inflate it and identify the puncture.

Except that the Presta valve pump was absolute garbage. This may have been the point where I started saying some words that weren't suitable for small children.

So I trudged back into town with the various parts of my bike to ask Niantic Bay Bicycles to rescue me once again. And then I told them that it was one of those days where you really need a beer and walked the short distance to the brewery.

Niantic Public House and Brewery had been in planning for quite some time before it opened in November 2018. I'd visited once before, but it still seemed to be a bit of a work in progress. The space was sparsely furnished, and the bartender apologetically said she wasn't able to fill a growler because my preferred variety was down to its last keg. On this visit, they'd made a few improvements, including a popcorn machine that allowed them to serve a snack with each beer order.

I had to get home to relieve my wife of angry toddler duty, so I limited myself to one full pour. I got the Penguins Are Cute Porter, which was quite a tasty dark beer.

One stunning change since my first visit to the Niantic Public House and Brewery were a series of murals added throughout. Sea turtles, a key part of the business's theme, swam across the main part of the brewery, while beer-drinking dinosaurs lurked in the men's room.

And then it was back to Niantic Bay Bicycles to pick up my repaired bike and head back home. I mostly retracted my route, though I did decide to swing by nearby Williams Park to showcase this nicely landscaped New London venue with a statue of local hero Nathan Hale.

Also, my back tire got another puncture a few weeks later. I really hate these roads sometimes.

Total mileage: 16.14 miles

Previous Bike and Brew Outings:
Outer Light Brewing Company
Beer'd Brewing Company
Fox Farm Brewery
Shelter Island Craft Brewery and Greenport Harbor Brewing Company
Barley Head Brewery
These Guys Brewing Company and Epicure Brewing
Mohegan Cafe and Brewery
Noble Jay Brewing Company
Tox Brewing Company

2020 Democratic Candidates by Anticipated Shenanigans at Trump Rallies

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Trump rallies are ridiculous.

Look, I know people who are supporters of President Trump for one reason or another. They think other countries have been taking advantage of the United States and he's pushing back against that, or that he's trying to improve federal spending, or whatever. Most of them acknowledge Trump's less than affable public personality, but usually say something along the lines of "Yeah, he's kind of an asshole but I think he's done a good job with XYZ."

I don't really agree with these sentiments, but I try my best to listen to opposing viewpoints. Given that conservatives were frothing at the mouth to attack President Obama for any possible misstep ("He asked for Dijon mustard on his burger, like a Frenchman?!?"), it's not really a good look to go after Trump for his fish feeding abilities...especially when there's plenty of personal quirks and policy to criticize. And I think most if not all of the more levelheaded folks who voted for Trump do the same thing; they may be rooted pretty strongly in an ideology, but are willing to consider opposing viewpoints.

But the people who attend Trump rallies? Yeah, I don't think they fall into this category. Because these rallies just seem to attract some pretty awful people.

I mean, what else would you expect when you give a blatantly obvious narcissist in perpetual need of self-reassurance a lectern and a microphone, and invite a crowd to indulge him in the idea that he's the greatest human to walk the earth? And hey, why not have said narcissist rail on about how people who criticize him are enemies of the country, since the impressionable people at the rally will lap it up and go into a proud, frenzied, public demonstration of the worst aspects of their personality? So the shining examples of humanity these rallies feature front and center include QAnon morons, neo-Confederates, people who harass reporters, and other very fine people who get offended when they're called deplorable.

Given that Trump never actually stopped holding these horrible events, and that he's officially declared his re-election bid for 2020, we're obviously going to see more of them in the next 16 months. In the meantime, the Democrats have 25 possible candidates to run against him, and the one they settle on will inevitably be subject to whatever jibes and effigies and other nonsense at the Trump rallies.

And since people have been having fun creating lists of "Democratic Candidates as...," I thought I'd make one about how you could identify the likely candidate based on the reaction at one of Trump's ego boosters in the midsummer of 2020:


Joe Biden

Seeking to capitalize on Trump's "Sleepy Joe" nickname, the rallies hand out free nightcaps for attendees. The crowd of angry people wearing white caps ends up looking like something else.

Bernie Sanders

After Trump denounces Bernie's "socialized socialist socialism," rally attendees are inspired to torch their Social Security cards, driver's licenses, library cards, Medicare cards, and any other forms issued by a local, state, or federal government. Fire departments supported by local taxes respond to a burning arena after the flaming ID cards inadvertently ignite a Confederate flag someone has proudly displayed at the rally.

Elizabeth Warren

Rally attendees pretending to be offended by Warren's dubious claims of Native American ancestry respond to every single one of Trump's "Pocahontas" remarks by erupting into tomahawk chops and war whoops.

Cory Booker, Julian Castro, Kamala Harris, or Wayne Messam

Pretty much just blatant racism.

Pete Buttigieg

Pretty much just blatant homophobia.

Kirsten Gillibrand

Confused by Gillibrand's vague resemblance to a younger Hillary Clinton, Trump frequently slips up and yells about e-mails and crookedness. The crowd doesn't bother to correct him and obediently erupts into cheers of "Lock her up!"

Andrew Yang

In order to criticize Yang's proposal of a universal basic income, rally organizer hand out "cash guns" to make it rain with fake money. Trump officials collect the counterfeit bills at the end of each rally and try to use them to pay off subcontractors jilted by Trump.

Beto O'Rourke

Having already tested out his flailing arm mockery, Trump thrashes his arms around in an exaggerated imitation of O'Rourke's mannerisms; it's the most exercise he's gotten in years.

Jay Inslee

Rally that would have made fun of Inslee for making climate change his central issue when it's still kind of cold in winter in some places is canceled after Florida is obliterated by Superstorm Geoffrey.

Amy Klobuchar

As a gimmick to highlight accusations that Klobuchar is a mean boss, rally organizers hand out binders and other office supplies to throw whenever Trump references these allegations. Many are injured.

John Hickenlooper

Trump takes the lazy route and nicknames his opponent "Loopy Hickenlooper." He also decides to contest Hickenlooper's record on brewing beer by founding the Trump Brewing Company and inviting rally attendees to find it at the cash bar or their local package store to outsell Hickenlooper's Wynkoop Brewing products. Attendees happily answer the call but give up after one six-pack after realizing that the beer is absolute crap; Trump Brewing fails within a month.

Tim Ryan

Trump goes on at length about how stupid Ohio voters must be to choose someone like Tim Ryan as their representative while his handlers desperately try to signal him to stop.

Tulsi Gabbard

Attendees start coming to rallies dressed up like Moana and Maui, and burst into impromptu renditions of "You're Welcome" whenever Trump brags about his purported accomplishments. Disney brings the legal hammer down on each and every person who does this with a lawsuit for unlicensed use of copyrighted material.

Steve Bullock

Trump mocks Bullock by making some remark about how Montana is the site of Little Bighorn, site of a notorious defeat of American armed forces by Native Americans. Rally attendees immediately accept his claim that he would have won the battle and Bullock would have rolled over for the Sioux.

Bill de Blasio

A vehemently anti-New York City theme builds from rally to rally, with attendees' insults toward the metropolis and its residents growing more and more intense. Trump, a lifelong New Yorker, finally snaps somewhere in the Midwest and calls the crowd a "bunch of losers meting out a sad existence in some meth-encrusted flyover shithole." Trump rally attendees are finally shocked by something Trump says.

Seth Moulton

As a rebuttal to Moulton's military service, Trump brags about how great a soldier he would have been in Vietnam if he had actually gone there. The crowd starts dressing like the cast of Hocus Pocus after realizing that Moulton represents Salem, Massachusetts.

Eric Swalwell

As a dig at Swalwell's central issue of addressing gun violence, Trump rallies begin inviting people to bring their firearms to the rallies and show that they can handle them responsibly. The rallies average 26 people accidentally shot per event as well as approximately 863 bullets shot into arena ceilings during the celebratory gunfire that follows a Trump insult.

[Posted just hours before learning that this scenario will not happen]

Joe Sestak

If Sestak gets the nomination, Trump would be going up against a likable former Navy admiral with a solid record but little name recognition as of yet. Trump rallies will feature the President completely ignoring Sestak in favor of yelling about Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama.

Michael Bennett

Born in New Delhi, India, Michael Bennett is the only Democratic candidate who could maybe merit a "birther" scandal. But he doesn't "look Indian" and he's a senator from Colorado, so Trump instead spends most of the rally making bad jokes about marijuana.

Mike Gravel

Trump mocks Mike Gravel's bizarre 2008 presidential campaign ad where he stares at the camera for awhile and then throws a rock into a pond. Rally attendees start to respond by bringing in their own large stones and chucking them whenever he makes this reference. Many are injured.

Marianne Williamson

Trump settles on "Moonbeam Marianne" for his nickname, though most Democrats are using this as well. Rally attendees buy crystals and dreamcatchers, both to make fun of them and because their horoscope told them they would try a new experience today.

Bike and Brew: Tox Brewing Company

Once the explosion of craft breweries in Connecticut began to hit a fever pitch, I wondered how long it would be before one was established in New London. Even with the popular Outer Light Brewing Company located just across the river in Groton, eastern Connecticut still has a pretty low number of breweries per capita and a brewery would certainly bolster New London's efforts to be a "hip little city."

New London finally got its own brewery this spring when Tox Brewing Company opened its doors. Heading directly there would make for a pretty lame Bike and Brew; after all, the place is about half a mile from my house with hardly anything along the way other than an intersection stuffed with car dealerships.

So I figured a ramble along the coast before hitting the brewery would be a better outing.

New London faces a lot of challenges: it's a tiny city, measuring about six square miles. Its downtown has quite a few vacant storefronts, and many properties are tax-exempt (including a hospital, three colleges, and a plethora of churches).

Still, quite a few people are upbeat about New London's present and future. I took the photos above from a single spot, showcasing the "Whale Oil Row" of Greek Revival buildings and the Garde Arts Center, a beloved local theater.

Biking in the city is a bit of a challenge, but drivers are usually pretty accommodating of cyclists. After making my way through the center of the city, I paid a visit to the Fort Trumbull peninsula. There's an impressive fort preserved on the waterfront here, and it has some fascinating history to it. Late in the Revolutionary War, a British force led by Benedict Arnold attacked the fort as well as another one across the river in Groton. Fort Trumbull was later used as a Navy research center, and has only been a state park for about two decades.

Unfortunately, people probably know Fort Trumbull more for its association with the infamous Kelo v. New London case. The Supreme Court narrowly decided that pharmaceutical giant Pfizer could use eminent domain to take over property on the peninsula for a development to support the nearby headquarters it had built in New London.

Then they never actually carried through on the development, and abandoned the headquarters as soon as their tax incentives ran out. So there you have it: the company that makes Viagra is run by a bunch of dicks.

I should point out that the empty parcels are clear and ready for development, though. Some armchair activists out there have screamed that the site is now being used as a garbage dump, probably because it was briefly a staging ground to take care of fallen trees and other debris after Hurricane Irene.

From Fort Trumbull, Pequot Avenue allows a lovely route along the Thames River where it empties into Long Island Sound. It terminates near Ocean Beach Park, a popular white sand beach with a half-mile boardwalk and plenty of summer amusements.

Continuing along the coast, you soon cross into Waterford and find yourself at the Eugene O'Neill Theater Center. This campus-style environment has several different performing stages, plus a collection of cottages for actors and other residents to stay. It also has a nice-looking little pub on the premises, but unfortunately that was heavily damaged by a burst pipe and is currently under repair.

Just below the theater center is Waterford Beach, which has the same white sand as Ocean Beach but none of the development.

Much the the coastline in this area is preserved, with Harkness Memorial State Park being the next site you come across. The park is the former homestead of a family who made a bundle of money on Standard Oil and later invested it into several philanthropic causes. They left the property to be used as a state park, and tours of the Harkness mansion are available in summer. The home also has stunning gardens, which were already coming into bloom during the early spring ride.

Farther along down the coast is Seaside, which recently became a state park under more controversial circumstances. A former tuberculosis sanatorium, and later a mental health facility, the site was popular with urban explorers before being fenced off by the state. It's still a nice secluded place to take in a view of the water.

Continuing along Shore Road brings you along an inlet with several palatial houses and a place called Pleasure Beach. This beach is a bit of an odd one: it's divided into thirds, with one part open to the public, another open to nearby residents, and another open to members.

We New Londoners sometimes see the Waterford crowd as a bit high-and-mighty, especially those who turn their noses up at the city rabble, and this sign might be the best illustration of that. This is just one of several signs set up along the area bordering the public part of Pleasure Beach, angrily warning off potential trespassers and demanding that qualified beachgoers wear their identification badges to show that they belong.

All for a tiny beach with a view of a nuclear power plant. Whatever floats your boat, exclusive Waterford crowd.

That about covered the interesting things to see along the coast, so I made a straight shot back to New London to stop in at Tox.

Tox Brewing Company is set up in a former fruit market. The name refers to one of the founders' background in toxicology, which also explains the poison dart frog logo. I'm still hoping they'll figure out a way to slap some glow-in-the-dark paint on that.

This was pretty close to the opening weekend of the brewery, so there was a rather large crowd. Still, I was able to get a seat at a comfortable lounge area set up in one half of the space. The brewery has done a great job with the interior; the toxicology theme is carried on with a wall display of old pharmacy bottles (and beers from other local breweries), and the taps are shaped like mushrooms. Just for fun, they've also housed the iPad used for transactions in an old Macintosh.

As a new brewery promotion, Tox was offering a deal where for $10 you got a keepsake tasting beaker and four pours to be tracked with wooden nickels. I was also happy to see them support the local paper (which happens to be my employer) and that they had a robust game collection.

I sampled some of their IPAs and darker beers, and was impressed by both. In particular, the Deadly Nightshade coffee milk stout was excellent.

So much, in fact, that I opted to get a growler of it. That's certainly a benefit of ending a Bike and Brew just a few minutes' ride from home.

Total mileage: 18.97 miles

Previous Bike and Brew Outings:
Outer Light Brewing Company
Beer'd Brewing Company
Fox Farm Brewery
Shelter Island Craft Brewery and Greenport Harbor Brewing Company
Barley Head Brewery
These Guys Brewing Company and Epicure Brewing
Mohegan Cafe and Brewery
Noble Jay Brewing Company

I Make Fun of State Quarters: Indiana

Parks and Recreation has ruined Indiana.

The sitcom, which ran on NBC from 2009 to 2015, is based in the fictional town of Pawnee, Indiana. Early episodes did more to lampoon the ridiculousness of small town politics and town meeting grandstanding, and Pawnee and its residents maintain a certain degree of insanity throughout the series. But the show quickly became more character-driven, dominated in particular by two leads: Leslie Knope, who is fiercely devoted to her community and tirelessly seeks to use her position in town government to improve the city, and Ron Swanson, a libertarian pillar of non-toxic masculinity.

So why would the portrayal of such likable characters and a quirky but pleasant town be a bad thing for Indiana? Well, because the show was filmed in California. So while Indiana does have some impressive forests, the towering peaks that appear in a few episodes put something of a grandiose spin on the state's natural areas. Especially when its tallest point, Hoosier Hill, tops out at a measly 1,257 feet.

The mighty heights of Hoosier Hill (Source)

And while I'm sure Indiana has its dedicated and likable civil servants, Knope and Swanson set a pretty high bar. It's a bit tough to imagine anyone with political persuasions as different as theirs having their respectable and productive relationship in this era.

Perhaps the most aggravating thing for the purposes of this blog is that Parks and Recreation is the first thing I thought of when doing my usual association game with the state. It was a fictional city, followed by Mike Pence, Indianapolis (showing up in my head as an indistinct collection of blocky skyscrapers), Mayor Pete (rising in the polls as he is), a city full of oil tanks that Stephen King had Trashcan Man burn down in The Stand, and that crummy Indianapolis mayor I wrote about once who promised he would run all of his public works appointments by a Ku Klux Klan grand dragon first.

It's kind of a desultory selection, with the exception of Mayor Pete (who was still in college at the time the Indiana quarter was selected, and has actually been compared to lovable Parks and Recreation nerd/policy wonk Ben Wyatt). Maybe Indiana's quarter should just make their quarter mimic a basketball and be done with it. Is that what they did?

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Oh right, that car race where drivers go around in circles for 500 miles. That somehow slipped my mind.

The Indy 500 is probably the best the state could have done in terms of quarter design, to be honest. I perused the Wikipedia page for Indiana to see what sort of interesting attractions and history and whatnot that I might be overlooking. And the resounding response was, "Really not that much."

Now I know that might seem a little mean, but let's review some of the other finalists for the state quarter:

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"Indiana: Trains and boats pass us by."

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"Indiana: Iowa's not the only state with corn."

To be fair, the same argument could probably be applied to most states. I live in Connecticut, which wound up going with the storied history of the Charter Oak; of course Nutmeggers probably know what this is while everyone else sees the message as "Connecticut: We have trees."

Which, incidentally, is similar to another suggestion that was included among the Indiana finalists.

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"Indiana: We have rocks."