Monday, September 17, 2012

Weird Ways People Have Found This Site

I've seen this more on blogs that actually have a readership that extends beyond friends, a few people who like the site enough to subscribe, and a ton of random people just passing by. But the analytics are still a fun thing to take a look at every now and then. Of the visitors in the past month, about 6 percent are coming directly to the site while about 36 percent are being referred from other sites (mostly search engines, though Reddit gave "Summer Glau Holding Things" a nice boost). The remaining 58 percent is from search engines. And sometimes people are searching for some strange things, like:

"wasp wants to fuck your shit up"


I think the reason this search pulled up my site was that I dropped a few expletives at the fact that a creature such as the giant Asian hornet exists. Considering the reported pain of the sting and the decimation the beast can wreak upon a beehive, I'm guessing the person searching found what they were looking for.

"guy germaine and fulton reid are brothers?!?"

I know, right?!?
This person is probably a little more amazed than I was during my entry on where the Mighty Ducks actors wound up to discover that the actors who played these two Mighty Ducks actors, Garette Ratliff Henson and Elden Henson, are real-life siblings. Although I guess he may have been most surprised by the fact that Elden isn't related to the other half of the "Bash Brothers."

"long illness incidentally passed away"


What...what were you hoping to find? Just the phrase, or were you hoping that dear old Auntie Hurlburt's obituary was going to come up when you searched for this? And how the hell did my site wind up pinging on the radar? Apparently it's a result of the language at the top of the entry on the Top 10 Stupidest Final Destination Deaths, where I mention that Rube Goldberg died at the age of 87 after a long illness.

"tits in usa flag bikini"


Hmm, maybe I'm missing out on a lot of traffic by not doing more direct links between America's two greatest loves: breasts and U-S-A! U-S-A! I might start having to slip in more phrases like "The Unititted States of America" and "Oh boobiful for spacious skies."

This comes from my Fifth of July reflections on patriotism. It actually does make sense in context.

"which one means not lacking plenteous or rendzvous?"

Obviously the one that sounds like "plentiful," idiot. Now put the phone away and take the English test on your own. You fucking slacker.